Writer's Block

Well, it has finally happened and only after 3 weeks of writing everyday.... WRITER'S BLOCK!  I don't know if it's because I am just having a really blah day or I just can't think of anything. I have tried, but my brain is just mush for the week. The bad thing about it is I just couldn't not write something. I know it sounds weird but this blog is my therapy. Ever since I have lost Mike, I have tried to figure out something that makes me happy. I am NOT saying in anyway that my family doesn't, but when you lose someone that you were so close to you lose a piece of yourself. A piece that you can never get back. Mom and I have had a very rough week this week. It has just been hard. It has really hit me the last two days like a ton of bricks!!! I JUST WANT TO SEE HIM! I just want to hear his voice, a korny joke, his giggle, smell his cooking, see his smile, smell cigarettes on his clothes, see his feet with his 9 toes. Yes, Mikey only had 9 toes. He lost his little toe when he was cutting grass at the age of 9. There are so many things that I want to tell him or ask him. I stayed with my mom last night and I just couldn't go to sleep. We both went to bed and we laid there just holding each other. That is OUR time! Time to just be with each other and to think. We cry, we pray, we laugh, but last night we cried! It just gets to be to hard on us sometimes. We try to be strong, but we can't. I have gotten alot of different signs and last night, when I leaned up to take my socks off I thought I saw a outline at the end of the bed. I don't know if it was him, it may have been or maybe it was wishful thinking. Mom leaned up, but she didn't see it. She hasn't got hardly any signs and it just breaks her heart. I just told her that she would, but maybe she is just looking to hard. Well, I don't really know what else to say today, but continue to pray for my family. Everyday is hard and though I try to keep a bright outlook, somedays JUST SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! But, we have to remember: "I can do all things in Christ, who strengthens me"