Praying for Direction

So, I know that it has been forever since I have blogged. I have been so busy at work that I haven't been able to take the time to do anything. I am coming to my blog to just write today. I have alot on me lately with everything and I am just feeling a little loss. So many things have happened since January and I just can't seem to get myself around everything. Sunday our preacher talked about doubt. Every christian has doubt in there life and in their belief. He said that if you got to when you didn't have doubt then you would be in heaven. You may question the things that happen in the bible, you may question unanswered prayers, or you may question why things happen. I am questioning alot on why things happen. Mikes death has hit home in my heart and my moms heart really in the last month and the reality is so real that it just takes your breath. I miss him more everyday and I wonder how I am going to be able to go through different things. How am I going to get through fathers day, what are we going to do at Christmas, thanksgiving, everything? I know that I am not alone and that I am not the only person that has every lost there dad but I am the only one that lost MIKEY the best step dad in the world. Its just hard!!!!

To top it off, I am so upside down at work. My job is temporary and the realization is drawing near that I need another job for SOOOOO many reasons, but  mainly is security. Then the question comes is what can I do? There are alot of things that I have done in the past but nothing makes me happier than working with kids. So, now God comes in! Guess what is happening at my church? Our church is trying to get a grant for a childcare and after school center! Look at how God is trying to work in my life. I am on this committee and alot of people that are on it don't have the knowledge of how to make this work. They have the heart for it and so many different skills they just need the leader to help guide. So, now the doubt rolls in. This would be another grant that wouldn't come close to the money that I make but is God trying to tell  me something? Will he provide for my family? How can I make this work in my life? Where am I suppose to go and what are the next steps?

There are so many questions in my head but my gut is telling me that this is Mikey and God working together to bring my dream together. So, I have to let my DOUBTS go and keep pushing toward this goal. I am not going to quit my job, though some days it would be nice. But, I am going to continue to work on this and see how this is going to go. I have to give it my all and like the preacher said on Sunday! "He is all in with Jesus". So, I have to trust in him and my belief and I will go all in and trust. Pray for me today that God will continue to give me direction.

So tonight, I ask each of you that reads my blog what is something that you have always wanted to do but you were scared to do whether it be a new business, charity, hobby, trip? Would you be doing it to help others and glorify his name? If God gave you a direction, would you go all in?